Amy Baglan wants to change the way you date. The founder and CEO of MeetMindful (and previously, yoga event company YogaDates) was inspired to start a new kind of dating platform after dealing with her own frustrations as a single yogi.
“When I moved to Denver I was taking yoga classes four or five days a week, and everyone was sitting there not talking. I thought, ‘This is so strange, I don’t get it. Why aren’t people connecting?’ It almost feels like it’s taboo to do that.”
“At YogaDates, I got insight into the problems customers were having in the dating space and meeting online. They felt like they kept having these super inauthentic experiences. [People who prioritize] mindful living, living with intention and authenticity, are looking for a connection. When we don’t get it we really crave it—something feels off or gamey.”
Baglan says the online dating community as it stood was giving people permission to date with way less integrity than ever before. “People almost felt disposable,” she laments. “What a shitty feeling for a human. It’s almost like the human-to-human connection was lost.”
The key is to avoiding such depressing interactions is to connect with like-minded people who share your interests, says Baglan, who created MeetMindful to help people do that. “Maybe they’re not into the same practices as you are, but they have some personal growth practice and they are pursuing it.”
Baglan’s 5 Rules for Mindful Dating – online and in real life
1. Have clarity about what you want.
A lot of people date for dating’s sake—they keep something alive because it looks good on paper or they don’t want to feel rejected, Baglan says. Are you dating because you just went through a breakup and your confidence needs a boost? All these reasons are not core reasons to be in relationships with people, she advises. Having clarity about what you want opens up new and existing possibilities.
2. Look for like-minded people.
This step is about really getting clear about what kind of people you want to be around. You’re looking for people not only with like-minded interests, but also like-minded values. People who want to leave the world better than they found it. Try getting involved offline in your community. If you’re really into volunteering and you want to find someone who actively gives back, go to fund raisers for causes you care about. Be the person you want to meet.
3. Ask great questions.
Once you’ve connected with lots of great matches, it’s a smart idea to ask great questions. Try to figure out what makes this person tick. Ask probing questions that are really generative like, “You just got back from traveling in India—tell me about it.” You want to find out what they’re passionate about and what their purpose is. The more you can get a feel for the type of person you’re talking to, the better you can decide if you want to meet up with them in person or not. It’s also useful to reveal key details about yourself, so people get a sense of who you are.
4. Drop into your body.
When meeting dates in real life, try really dropping into your body and seeing what’s there for you and what’s going on. I was recently on a date and my friend happened to be across the bar. I later told him the date was kind of boring, and he said, “I could tell because you weren’t leaning in.” I wasn’t super engaged; I didn’t have that excitement. Check in with your body to see how you’re feeling emotionally and if you’re “turned on” mentally and physiologically.
5. Date with integrity.
The worst thing that’s happening these days is “ghosting,” where the person just disappears. We are humans interacting with humans—treat people how you want to be treated. Be honest and straightforward and avoid ghosting. If you’re not interested, come out and say it in a way that’s really true and authentic, like, “I’m looking for the one. In my gut I know it’s not you, but you’re awesome.”
To learn more about MeetMindful, visit meetmindful.com or download the iOS app in the App Store.